* when I want to cry I see creamy bubbles

Mr. Tanaka has replaced the chickens who fell into the pond of hell with parents. 

The children who were originally in hell become elves. They remain in their present form and live forever. The happier they are without thoughts of suicide, the deeper their parents will fall. Everyone is happy. I suddenly lost my parents.

I tried to sink quietly into the pond, but my suicidal thoughts would give the other parents in the pond a chance to climb back up. My classmates listened to my fear of losing my parents, they said that no one wants to be an elf cause no one wants to live forever on this shitty earth. Mr. Tanaka was thinking about why there were parents coming up from the pond. Then two of my classmates took me out and brought me to him. People like me who cause parents come back to life are called blue elves. Mr. Tanaka took me to the Institute and my friend followed me because she was worried. 

* After three years in the hell pond, people will turn into a feral cat or dog, and then will be put in a zoo-like compartment in the institute, with thick glass that didn’t let in any light, so you had to get close enough to see inside. 

The Institute’s décor is very fancy and there is a large crystal chandelier above the living room that you pass before going to the zoo. 

At the zoo I asked Tanaka if I could find the parents from the pile of feral cats and dogs and bring them home. Mr. Tanaka said you can’t find them. I tried knocking against the glass. There was a very aggressive black cat with mixed hair that came running towards me right away and then two or three other cats came running too.

I ran back to Tanaka and wanted to cry and said that two cats had come over very quickly and were they my parents? Tanaka said that your mother hadn’t survived the three years and that the dogs inside were chained so you couldn’t see them or the cats would have been dog food. 

Then Mr. Tanaka took me and my friend for a walk around the neighborhood where I used to live.

My mother made me a white rabbit doll one night when I was little and one day I broke it so she took it away to fix it for me but I was taken away by the conservation that day. Walking down the garden path in my old neighborhood, my friend was on Mr. Tanaka’s left and I was on his right, the thought of the white rabbit doll made me want to cry. Thinking. This reflexive urge to cry would last until work. Mr. Tanaka sensed my urge to cry and put his hand on my head and said, “Don’t be afraid. We’ll provide a place to live, you can go on to school and get a job, then you can support yourself and have your own house.”

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